Holding my clenched fists at my side, I plead "just lick it like an ice cream cone,” as my client does his best to pleasure me orally. He is under the impression that if he sucks my labia really hard, nips my lips with his teeth and pushes a very long thumbnail into me I’ll explode in orgasm. I don’t think he was in school the day his more experienced friends were explaining how to give proper cunnilingus to horny young girls. In lieu of screaming, I decide to gently instruct him to use some caution. So, I say, in my most matter of fact tone, “you just write the alphabet with your tongue.” Patience. That’s the nature of this job. I’ve got it in spades.
Clients come and go, but most have a general idea on how to treat a vagina. Then there are those men who, for lack of a better word, are clueless. I am more than happy to oblige you if you are into eating pussy. However, there are times when I pull out a vibrator or a dildo and let him just watch me do myself. I want him to feel included, of course. So, I tell him “get onto your knees and lean over me as I lie here and fuck myself. I’m going to suck you dry and send you walking out of here light as a feather.” This is a good visual for the novice oral-pleaser and most of the time I get hosed either on my face or into my mouth when he’s climaxing. If you are reading this and aren’t quite sure of your pussy eating prowess I have created list of helpful tips that may help guide you towards the pussy eating glory that can be yours.
Eating Pussy 101
Step 1: To start with, give the object of your desire a kiss. You don’t have to slip her any tongue. Warmly kiss her to let her know that you are sensitive to her special needs as a woman and as a human being. Kissing informs your casual paramour, Tinder hookup or bar room hottie that you want this to be a give and take type of exchange and you are willing to take the time and let what happens flow organically. Merely taking her by the shoulders and pushing her down while saying something such as “brace yourself” isn’t foreplay. Take it slow. No one’s going to take this pussy away from you.
Step 2: Lightly cup a breast and massage it gently as you continue to kiss her. Breasts are meant to be treated tenderly and adored for their uniqueness and your luck for being able to stare at a new pair. Sucking them as if you’re sucking a frozen milkshake through a straw is not pleasant for most women. Unless she asks you to bite down on them take the high road. If you feel compelled to compliment her nipples as you gently nip them with your lips. Linger here with her for a while. Make her feel beautiful. It won’t kill you.
Step 3: Place yourself in between her legs and prepare to go straight for the honey pot. Watch your nails and teeth. Sucking here also is not usually recommended because a vagina is delicate. It’s always evolving and can be juicier than usual depending on hormones or whatever stage of life a woman is currently. A clue for you is to look at the skin and the age of the woman you’re with. A younger woman generally can handle a little more abuse to her pussy due to the fact that her skin is more elastic. A middle aged woman’s skin is softer and the elasticity in her skin has changed. Fair haired girls with freckles, like myself, have tender skin everywhere on the body. So, be sweet and remember that most girls are soft. Even there. Also, beforehand shave your chin and make sure there isn’t any rough beard stubble. A scratchy face on a silky vagina is a real mood killer for the lady.
Step 4: Using your tongue begin making light circles around the top of the labia. Please use a diagram of female genitalia for a visual reference as you read this. As you feast it’s a good idea to look up and make eye contact to see if she is content or bored or in pain and adjust your movements for her optimum pleasure. Take instructions if she gives them. She may say “put your finger inside me.” Your goal is to finger pump her while continuing to lick her up and down and back and forth with circles and so forth without scraping her vaginal walls with your fingernails or biting her clit unless, of course, she asks you to.
Step 5: Don’t take it personally if she doesn’t cum. It’s not always easy even if you are performing all of your special moves on her. Many woman need oral and vaginal stimulation simultaneously in order to cum. Sometimes a woman takes a good while and may feel pressured to hurry up, but don’t be in a hurry. Give her the time she needs (within reason) and make her feel desired and sexy.
One more thing. You are in a room with a naked and beautiful woman. Enjoy her! Savor her newness and special sauce. She is giving you this gift even if you are paying for it. Stay awhile and let it flow. If you practice you’ll be a better lover and what you will receive in return will make your sex life so much more satisfying. I attribute good sex to winning a football game. The more you score the more confident you will feel for the next go round.
As I think about the art of giving oral sex I’m reminded of a client who visited me several times in 2019 and early 2020. He had tender blue eyes, great big juicy lips and a shiny bald head. He basically made love to me not only with his lips and fingers and cock, but during foreplay, as he ate me, he would go back and forth between licking my clit and rubbing his perfectly shaved head into my slippery love mound. I can’t tell you what an interesting and erotic sensation this was. He seriously wanted me to cum and spent the entire hour working on me before he allowed me to return the favor. Sometimes it worked and I would orgasm for him. I believe I might have even squirted now that I’m thinking about it. He’s one of those clients that vanished once the pandemic took away all the fun, but hope springs eternal. He contacted me the other day just to see how I am. What a guy!
When I think of the oral “ness” of my job my mind drifts back to another client who usually got it right. We would begin with him between my legs. As he sopped me up like I’m a syrupy buttermilk biscuit he would cum onto the sheets. I’m not sure we have actually had intercourse. His premature ejaculation wasn’t an issue for me and is somewhat endearing as I watch him try so hard. He’s soft and young and I’ve tried my best to help him along. My hope for him is that one day he’ll master the art of edging and learn restraint. In the meantime I hope he’s reading some of the sexual reading material that I’ve recommended.
When I meet a new man I sometimes ask “how’s your love life?” I find asking this is a good ice breaker and helps me get a read on how they’re doing sexually or not. They usually respond with “non existent” or “better now.” Some men tell me that when the wife hit menopause she basically cut them off because she is no longer interested in having sex with the changes that reek havoc on a woman’s physiology. However, some women choose to retire not only from their sexuality, but even showing affection. I think this must be when a woman decides to get old. It’s common and somewhat unfair to their husbands who will suffer not only the lack of sex and intimacy, but perhaps human touch by someone who should be his sanctuary. Over the years I’ve listened as clients said things like “she won’t even let me eat her.” Being married to the same person isn’t like the movies. It takes real commitment and sacrifice. As someone who hasn’t been very successful in marriage I can only imagine what looking at the same penis everyday is like. What I know about sex is that it can only enhance your relationship. I think I’m an exception when it comes to women my age because I consider sex to be a sort of fountain of youth. The benefits derived from endorphins and allowing your juices to flow are proven to promote better sexual and mental health. My goal is to make a client feel like a man and send him back relaxed and recharged after I’ve eaten his balls, sucked his cock and rode him like a dime story pony. You wives just curl up with your crossword puzzles and watch Dr. Phil. He’ll be home in time for dinner.
Pussy is a word which escapes from the lips and floats heavy in the ether waiting for someone to giggle and or become aroused. The sound of the “s” is provocative in that with a simple slip of the “pussy,” a man’s mind is instinctively heightened sexually and thoughts of various conquests when he lapped at the pool of a sweet tasting honey pot. During sex, a woman such as myself will ask “do you feel my pussy milking your cock?” Men seem to grow harder with visual and verbal encouragement and are able to perform when stimulated properly. For six years I’ve had a client who began calling himself Daddy as we grew together sexually and became better lovers. He loves to talk dirty, is patient with me during foreplay and gives me plenty of time to warm up. When eating my pussy I’ve found the more that I squirm and arch my back the more adept he becomes in getting me off. Once I’ve stopped shuddering from the orgasm he gives me with the help of mostly his tongue, gentle fingers and my handy, lavender vibrator, he slides into me. With his eyes fixated on mine he dreamily asks “is this Daddy’s pussy?” In the throes of being lightly assaulted and possibly molested, I simply reply “stick your big cock deeper in me Daddy!” He then asks “how many cocks have you had today, Baby?” I tell him “you’re the first because I wanted Daddy to stretch me out before the others.” He continues stroking me and asks “what do you say when I ask you if you like taking Daddy’s big cock?” I give him the answer he prefers. “I love Daddy’s swollen cock inside me!” He then asks “do you want Daddy to cum on your tits or on your back?” As I moan and writhe under my play Daddy and take in all of the cock he is forcing into my swollen puss, I tell him “just give me your cum Daddy. I don’t care where you put it.”
