She realizes the time is now 8:30 in the pm and they were going to meet tonight at 8:00. What’s he up to? She muses on how he smells and what his kisses taste like as she lavishes pets on her cat and looks out of the window to see if his car is parked on the street. She gave herself permission to get wrapped up in their blossoming relationship, but with a cautious heart. The first part of a new love affair is always supernaturally good and like most good things she knows they have a season. So, swallowing her pride she texts him a non accusatory text. “What happened to you this evening? She follows with a “LOL” because there’s no need to jump to conclusions just yet. It’s always better to not think the worst of people until they give you a reason to think differently. Nothing on his end but crickets. A man that follows through is like finding a unicorn in the mist. She thinks about the $1000.00 day she had and how much fun it was hustling like a pro. Effortlessly and methodically she brings man after man in her home and watches them throw hundreds at her for simply giving them some of her time and tender, loving care. She thinks about the sex she has with Paul and how wet the insides of her thighs become while he fucks her long enough and hard enough for her to squirt and sometimes cum. In a moment of truth she acknowledges that she really is tired and the fact that he’s not responding could mean many things. She’s grateful that he’s running late and may not even show. He’s not a client, but right now he reminds her of a prospective client who passes her light screening and a date is made, but he never calls or shows. He hasn’t proven himself to her. Yet. Across town a sleepy Paul awakes and his ex girlfriend is beside him. He watches her momentarily and thinks about how sweet she looks as she’s dreaming. Softly. When he looks at his phone he sees the texts from the woman he stalked and stroked just right until she gave him herself. Putting the phone down he doesn’t answer her because of a combination of guilt and various other reasons to numerous to contemplate right now. He walks to the bathroom and lifts up the toilet seat to pee. Once his bladder is empty he flushes the toilet and moves toward the sink. The cold water he splashes onto his face feels like a punishment he must endure because he knows “he’s a bad boy cause he don’t even miss her” and the ex showing up seems so much easier. Truth is he doesn’t know what he wants and that makes him feel sad. His name is called from the bedroom and he dries his face and heads toward the bed like a man in a trance towards a woman that knows him inside and out. He decides to just let her tell him what to do tonight because he can’t make a decision. She extends her hands to him and he lets her seduce him while she slips his rock hard cock into her familiar and safe hole. It comforts him and that’s all he needs right now. He glides in and out and listens as she gasps in ecstasy. All his cares fly away while outside the moon rises higher and the sky turns into outer space. Softly. Uptown she wakes to the caw of the territorial crow who’s been perched in a tree close to her upstairs window for a several mornings. There are a few more morning noises that make sleep futile, like the garbage truck and the usual yelling and banging of the men who take the trash away. Now a tour bus is rumbling by and dips into the pot hole left by the Sewage & Water Board’s last repair on the perpetual pipe leak under the street. This always makes the house jump. “I guess I’m up.” She says. Marigold just snuggles down deeper into a vortex of sheet and fluff and down. Checking her phone she surmises that Paul has evidently had a change of heart. If he cares he doesn’t realize that his silence to her is a loud school bell ringing in her ears and without missing a beat she pats her heart symbolically for she is always right. If he only knew how hard it is for her to believe in someone and trust. He just hasn’t proven himself to her. Here’s proof. He’s a no show just like the client who cannot drag himself to the date he initiates. With that thought and all of a sudden she feels invigorated and as light as a butterfly who lights on one flower, and then another without rhyme or reason. He doesn’t even want to get to know her and that is hurtful, but it’s best this way. We won’t have to talk about the things we don’t want to with each other and I’ll never have to sit him down and tell him what I do. She thinks quietly as she prepares a cup of tea. Her next three days pass with a blur of faces and sex and money. While she thinks of him she isn’t surprised or unprepared for this slight. She feels empowered by her ability to plow through the sad feelings and go through the five stages of grief in record time. Then on the fourth evening as she lays in bed reading a book it becomes clear that she needs some comfort. No one’s around, but Marigold and most of her clients are snug at home with their families. She stands up, takes off her clothes and reaches into the bedside drawer for her favorite dildo and a vibrator gifted to her by a client who moved away. He was a good fuck, but didn’t come very often because he has a wife with mental illness and her malaise colors every aspect of their marriage. Like a good husband he is determined to see it through. Tragically, he is a giver sexually and has great hands. Sigh… He’s a good place to start whenever she needs to warm up and make love just to herself. Dimming the lights and closing the door now she hears only her own breathing, a car misfiring on the bridge and her old home creaking. Laying back down onto her bed she takes the sexual instruments in each hand. She imagines many things as she slides this substitute dick in and out of her. Softly. The fantasy she chooses is one of an almost epic in it’s entirety. It evolved from a wormhole she went down last Mardi Gras on an acid trip where she, with the help of the drug found herself lying on top of a lichen cluttered stump in a clearing surrounded by a boreal forest. In this drug induced fantasy men are watching and waiting for their turn to come and place their seed inside her for she is a forest nymph who only allows herself to be caught on one night of the year. If they are bold enough and not outdone by the others who feast on her breasts and dripping honey they can mate her in the bloom of coitus and what is her most fertile moment. By doing so, each has the chance of impregnating her. The child that will be born will be a great and fierce leader. His or her legacy would be the stuff of legend. Each man who comes to her this night would possibly be the father to a half human and mystical being as she herself is not quite human. As she dives deeper into the fantasy her fingers began touching and kneading her swollen clit. Getting very wet now she realizes she’s almost ready to cum, but decides to edge back and keep the story going inside of her head. She knows she shouldn’t wait too long because the orgasm she’s waiting for won’t be as explosive if she keeps putting it off. Setting the vibe to medium and a constant pace she raises her legs and spreads them wide so that the vibrator is placed exactly on the clit and with her other hand she moves the dildo in and out of her sticky wetness. Softly. She imagines one man in her coniferous fantasy pushing another one off of her and forcing his cock into her, sucking her breasts and groaning and banging with his big belly. He breathes heavily while willing himself deeper to where lies her eggs and what will become life and perhaps hope. She imagines her view and men all around her stroke their penises and wait in the biome for their moment to have her. She raises her hips and the vibe is undeniably delicious and when she’s almost there and her fantasy man is screaming his metaphorical orgasm into her face she cums. Tears stream from her eyes. She smells the faint aroma of spruce trees, musk and loam. Some of her tears are from the loss of love and some from relief. The forest and the stump and all of the men fade from her mind and when she’s back on earth she realizes that she’s sated. Loving herself is the best thing and being realistic has always served her well. This is the way her life works for her and as long as she’s paying her own way no one can tell her what to do. Sitting up and looking at the clock on her nightstand she realizes she was masturbating for an hour. She successfully departed this earth and is a better person for it. It’s then she looks at her phone and sees that Paul has texted a simple “Hey.” Without thinking about it twice she blocks him.
“And I’m a bad boy, ‘cause I don’t even miss her
I’m a bad boy for breakin’ her heart
Now I’m free
Free fallin’
Yeah, I’m free
Free fallin’”
